Ask Dr. D: Who's to blame for Team India's disastrous show?

Dear Dr D,
We had planned this perfectly from the get-go. We always knew it was a pressure cooker situation, but we were the ones half baked.

We were ready for it to go down to the wire but it’s all over bar the shouting by day 3. And so here we are, 0:2 in two matches.


We hit it like a tracer bullet but it wilted on the way to the boundary. We had trained to flash and flash hard and not flaccid. So what has gone wrong?
'Coach’

Dear Dr D,
To add to Coach’s question, I’m also genuinely puzzled. We had prepared so hard for this tour! We had communicated to the opponent our tough resolve (in the cement ad), our energy (through the battery endorsement) and our passion (in the prophylactic commercial). Our ‘always-ready’ attitude shone through in that promo for hair gel.

Everything was planned to perfection. So then why didn’t our opponents get the message? Instead they rolled us over in only three days in both matches. (Two full days of advertising lost!) Who is to blame for this disaster? We don’t really know. Do you?

Mic drop.
‘Skip’

Dear ‘Coach’ and ‘Skip’,
It’s time for you to Brexit.

He is one of the leading doctors in the country. He values his privacy (but not of his clients.)

STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.