Ask Dr D: How to escape a dressing down?

A Silicon Valley CEO was fired for allegedly spending over $75K at strip clubs and charging it to a company credit card.

Agencies
He is one of the leading doctors in the country. He values his privacy (but not of his clients).

Dear Dr D,
Are you a doctor as in a general physician? Or one of those PhD types? I hope neither. What I am looking for is a spin-doctor. I hope you are that because I need one to move my life and career forward. They have suffered a little, and the reason is this headline: “The CEO of a Silicon Valley startup was quietly fired after allegedly spending over $75,000 at strip clubs and charging it to a company credit card.” This is accurate, both the firing bit and the spending on strip clubs. What is inaccurate is the quietly thing, because clearly this is in the news. My defence of my conduct has been quite straightforward, Doc.


Is it not the burden of the CEO to know the human condition? How can a leader display empathy and consideration towards his workers if he does not know the nature of the world? It was purely because of this totally altruistic motive that I went to these places. I caressed and stroked the individuals in them. I slipped dollar bills into their g-strings, from a spirit of corporate social responsibility. How can I tell the world that this was the reason I did what I did? And how can I redeem myself and my goodwill?
Thanks,
Ex-CEO
Silicon Valley

Dear Ex-CEO,
I think a better (and more honest) defence would be for you to say that you are a man, and you did what a man was tempted to do. That does not require spin-doctoring. The problem is elsewhere: In the charging of the company card. “Perk” does not refer to body parts.

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Statutory Warning: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.

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