Performance anxiety

A boss calls a worker in for his annual performance review. 'Where do you see yourself in five years?' he asked.

'Hopefully, somewhere you can't schedule meetings.'

The boss frowned. 'What's your greatest strength?'


Man: Knowing when a meeting should have been an email.

Boss: And your greatest weakness?

Man: Attending it anyway.

Boss: Do you consider yourself a team player?

Man: Absolutely. Whenever something goes wrong, I think, 'Which member of the team did this?'

The boss closed his file, and asked, 'Do you have any questions for me?'

Man: Yes. How am I doing?

Boss [sighs]: Frankly, you're difficult to manage.

Man [smiles]: So... exceeding expectations?

Doctored

A man told his doctor, 'I think I'm becoming extremely forgetful.'

Doc: How long has this been happening?

Man: How long has what been happening?

Doc [sighs]: What year is it?

Man: Financial or calendar?

Doc: What did you eat for breakfast?

Man: My wife says porridge, but I'm seeking a second opinion.

Finally, the doctor said, 'I'm prescribing these tablets. Take one every morning.' The man studied the prescription. 'Will they cure my memory?'

Doc: No. They're vitamin tablets.

Man: Then why take them?

Doc: Because you already paid me ₹3,500. Remember something.