Dog, the wag

A man sees a sign: 'Talking Dog for Sale'. Curious, he asks the dog, 'Can you talk?' The dog replies, 'Yes.'

Shocked, the man asks, 'So, what's your story?' The dog says, 'I worked for R&AW, overheard secrets, foiled plots, saved India, twice. Then I retired.'

Astounded, the man asks the owner, 'Why are you selling him?'


Owner [shrugs]: Because he lies. He's never left this compound.

Consultant Bites

A company hired a productivity consultant. He watched employees for an hour and announced, 'Too much time is wasted talking.' He banned chatting. Productivity dropped.

Then he said, 'Too much emailing.' And he banned internal emails. Chaos followed.

'The real problem,' he said, 'is unnecessary rules.' He then produced a 427-page manual titled, 'Mandatory Rules for Eliminating Unnecessary Rules'. It included:

A form to request permission to skip forms.

A committee to reduce committees.

Weekly meetings to discuss why meetings were inefficient.

A dashboard measuring how much time employees spent updating the productivity dashboard.

Six months later, he received an international award for improving workplace efficiency. No one at the company had time to tell the judges otherwise.