Manager who has a habit of making ‘quick chats’ into 45-minute monologues told employee to ‘smile more’ who never missed a deadline; worker with a toddler at home asks if they should go to HR

People in corporates are mostly familiar with the ‘quick chats’ with boss. At times, this may be a minuscule thing to discuss, but sometimes the quick ones are really not that quick, and may contain serious kind of employee feedback. Whatever the reason for the chats, an employee who is doing her ‘job well,’ never missed a deadline,’ or ‘never had a client complaint’ has no reason to avoid, let alone worry about such meetings.

But an employee shared on Reddit that she has all the things going in her favor in the workplace, but she keeps getting called into lengthy conversations with her boss, and the reason is apparently her attitude.

She shared her story in Reddit’s popular forum r/OfficePolitics, which became the hotbed of frustrated office workers. In her story, she describes how their manager repeatedly schedules “quick chats” that eventually metamorphose into 45-minute monologues about their (employee) personality and behavior.


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The employee, who has been with the company for a year and a half, said they perform their duties well and have never missed a deadline or received a client complaint. Yet, the manager never let a chance go away in criticizing their “attitude,” “energy,” and lack of enthusiasm.

Manager thinks employee is ‘disengaged’ but cannot give specific examples

According to the Reddit post, the first conversation started after the manager felt the employee appeared “disengaged” during a team meeting. Then she asked for specific details, and the manager said it’s “a vibe thing.”

Next time, the manager said they were “not demonstrating enough enthusiasm.” Like before, when she asked to identify which email, she called it “a pattern.”

Things got more frustrating for her when the manager accused the employee of being “resistant to feedback.”

When she asked what feedback they had, they supposedly resisted, the manager kept her no-chalant nature and said that they were “being defensive right now.”

“I genuinely didn't know what to say,” the employee wrote.

For the worker, the problem is not receiving criticism itself, but the fact that she is unable to understand what needs to change about herself.

Employee says being professional should be enough

The Reddit user said that they are not naturally bubbly or overly expressive at work. However, they said they remain professional, polite and focused on completing their responsibilities.

“But apparently ‘professional’ isn't enough,” the employee wrote, adding that their manager wants them to be excited, smile more in meetings and “bring energy.”

The latest conversation took a different turn when the manager expressed concern that the employee was not “engaging socially” with the team.

The employee explained that they have a two-hour commute and a toddler at home, and she had little time or energy for additional workplace or socializing.

They said they do their job and go home, and questioned why that should be a problem when their work is getting done.

The manager responded that she was “disappointed” because she “sees so much potential” in the employee. She also suggested that they work on their “visibility.”

The employee said they were not seeking legal advice but just wanted to know whether others had experienced similar management styles. And how they handled feedback that seemed impossible to measure.

“Do I just fake it? Do I talk to HR? Do I start looking?” they asked.