It's totally ok to push back toxic positivity

The festive season's first grand act is wrapping up this weekend, and guess what? You're still not exactly overflowing with josh. Friends, family and even overenthusiastic neighbourhood uncles and aunties are in full party mode, expecting you to match their energy and zest for life peg for peg, 'serotonic for serotonic'. But here's the kicker: this 'Don't worry, be happy' mode isn't new. Every year, there's this relentless pressure on all of us to be happy. 'Be happier! Masti must! Improve yourself! Get better! Build the life of your dreams!' It's like a motivational poster coming to life, whether you want it or not. Exhausting, right?

But here's the thing. You don't have to play along. In fact, 'It's Okay Not To Be Okay', as the Korean drama on Netflix goes. There's even a name for this insistence to be merry: toxic positivity. Clinical psychologist Jaime Zuckerman explains it as the belief that no matter how miserable you feel, you're supposed to have 'positive vibes' mode - a term that, let's be honest, makes many of us cringe. If you need extra permission to stay unhappy, read Katherine May's Wintering, a beautiful book reminding us that if happiness is a skill, then sadness is too. So, embrace that 'meh' feeling. You are not a buzzkill. You're just taking a break from the endless happiness treadmill. Take pleasure in being glum.