Beware of pointless employee gifts

Once upon a time, landing a new job was genuinely exciting. Along with that nano hike, you could expect a welcome kit containing things one could actually use: a notebook, a mug, maybe even a company hoodie. Then came the age of corporate austerity.

HR departments - undefeated champions of draining the joy out of everything from Day 1 - decided that new hires should be taught a thing or two about the latest fad: sustainability. Case in point: a Bengaluru-based tech company recently welcomed an employee with a garbage bag placed on her desk - a textbook case of bargain-bin virtue-signalling.

Corporate India, please junk these sustainable (sic) welcome kits, uninspired retirement hampers, and limp 'Employee of the Month' certificates. The HR army mustn't forget that employees are the ones who undertake the annual pilgrimage through a mountain of HR forms that appear on April 1 and are never seen, acknowledged or read again. So, a little thought behind these gifts is in order.


Why not bring back the classics: ceramic mugs that hold actual coffee, heavy metal pens that survive stressful meetings, awkward office parties with limp pizza and flat tequila, and mandatory offsites - even if they're in Manesar or Mahabaleshwar - where we collectively complain about everything. And if you genuinely want employees to feel valued, cash is king. Just saying.