Revealed: Why people continue staying in unhappy, unsatisfying relationships
People don't end relationships because they think it would be bad for their partners.
By PTI |
ThinkStock Photos
WASHINGTON: People continue to stay in unsatisfying romantic relationships because they believe that leaving would be bad for their partners, a study suggests.
Published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, the study explored the possibility that people deciding whether to end a relationship consider not only their own desires but also how much they think their partner wants and needs the relationship to continue.
"The more dependent people believed their partner was on the relationship, the less likely they were to initiate a breakup," said Samantha Joel, who was an assistant professor at the University of Utah in the US at the time of the research.
Previous research shows the amount of time, resources and emotion invested in a relationship can be factors in deciding to end a romantic relationship.
Studies also show that a person may opt to remain in an unfulfilling relationship if the alternative - being alone, the available pool of partners, etc - seems less appealing.
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In those cases, deciding to stay or go was based on self-interest, Joel said. However, the new study shows the first evidence that decisions about an unsatisfying romantic relationship may involve an altruistic component.
"When people perceived that the partner was highly committed to the relationship they were less likely to initiate a break up," said Joel, now an assistant professor at Western University in Canada. "This is true even for people who weren't really committed to the relationship themselves or who were personally unsatisfied with the relationship. Generally, we don't want to hurt our partners and we care about what they want," said Joel.
In making that choice, the unhappy partner may be hoping that the relationship will improve, Joel said.
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Deciding to stay based on a partner's perceived dependence on the relationship could be a double-edge sword, Joel said. If the relationship improves, it was a good decision. However, if it doesn't, a bad relationship has been prolonged.
Finding Love Online Can Be A Cakewalk, Just Avoid These Seven Mistakes
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Everything in this world has become digital now. You can even find love by just one swipe of your finger. But some restrictions imposed by photo and character limits leave some of us at a bit of a loose end.
According to The Independent, two Reddit users asked men and women to list the red flags they've seen on dating profiles.
These are the seven mistakes people make while writing about themselves in a dating app bio:
Everything in this world has become digital now. You can even find love by just one swipe of your finger. But some restrictions imposed by photo and character limits leave some of us at a bit of a lo..
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The Blank Profile
You've already gone to the effort of creating a profile, typing your name and age, maybe you even uploaded one pic. What else do they need?
The Blank Profile
You've already gone to the effort of creating a profile, typing your name and age, maybe you even uploaded one pic. What else do they need?
Bathroom Selfies
Firstly, that flash is obscuring the torso/chest/face you're obviously desperate to show off. Secondly, you're clearly a bit of a narcissist/you don't get out much, hence the bathroom. Thirdly, don't think we can't see that there's a toilet in the background.
Bathroom Selfies
Firstly, that flash is obscuring the torso/chest/face you're obviously desperate to show off. Secondly, you're clearly a bit of a narcissist/you don't get out much, hence the bathro..
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Height
Short of stating your shoe size and your contact lens prescription, writing your height in your bio essentially translates to the following "I'm not interesting, I'm not witty, but I sure am tall".
Height
Short of stating your shoe size and your contact lens prescription, writing your height in your bio essentially translates to the following "I'm not interesting, I'm not witty, but I sure am ..
Read More
The group profile picture
Not only is this confusing as we have no idea who you are, but it immediately leads us to believe that you are the least attractive person in the photograph. Not a good start. Either bag yourself some beastly friends or play it safe with a solo pic.
The group profile picture
Not only is this confusing as we have no idea who you are, but it immediately leads us to believe that you are the least attractive person in the photograph. Not a good sta..
Read More
Dog/child photos
You're asking for trouble with either. Whilst the former will only bring immense disappointment when paired with "not my dog" in your bio, the latter is bound to catalyse commit issues in even the broodiest of broods. Expect an apocalypse if your photo includes both.
Dog/child photos
You're asking for trouble with either. Whilst the former will only bring immense disappointment when paired with "not my dog" in your bio, the latter is bound to catalyse commit iss..
Read More
Using emojis in the place of words
We get it, you like beer/wine/avocados and sometimes you smile/wear sunglasses/dance like a sassy girl in a red dress. It might be 2017 but the language of love is still a lexical art. Say it, don't emoji it.
Using emojis in the place of words
We get it, you like beer/wine/avocados and sometimes you smile/wear sunglasses/dance like a sassy girl in a red dress. It might be 2017 but the language of love is..
Read More
And finally
Remember, no one is everyone's "type on paper". You're looking for someone who "ticks all the boxes" but doesn't give you "the ick". You want to show that you're good at "grafting" but don't be "muggy" about it. You're ready to put all your "eggs in one basket" and are gagging to "crack on" but terrified of being "pied", so you're "pranging out".
And finally
Remember, no one is everyone's "type on paper". You're looking for someone who "ticks all the boxes" but doesn't give you "the ick". You want to show that you're good at "grafting" but d..
