Quote of the day by Benjamin Franklin: 'Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards'

Benjamin Franklin, a renowned polymath and Founding Father, offered timeless advice on marriage: be observant before commitment and patient afterward. His personal life was marked by early love for Deborah Read, separation due to his travels, and ...

Benjamin Franklin became one of the most influential figures in American history. (Istock)

Benjamin Franklin, one of the most remarkable minds of his era, left behind words that still spark reflection centuries later. An American polymath, he wore many hats during his lifetime: writer, scientist, inventor, diplomat, printer, publisher, political philosopher and statesman. As one of the Founding Fathers of the United States, he helped draft and sign the Declaration of Independence and served as the country’s first postmaster general. Among his many memorable observations on life, one stands out for its honesty and wit: “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.”

At first glance, the line feels playful, but it carries practical wisdom. Franklin suggests that before committing to marriage, a person should be observant and thoughtful, paying close attention to values, habits and compatibility. Once married, however, the focus should shift from scrutiny to patience. Overlooking small flaws, practising understanding and choosing harmony over constant criticism can strengthen a relationship. The quote remains relevant because it speaks to balance, discernment before commitment and grace after it.

About Benjamin Franklin's personal life

Long before Benjamin Franklin became one of the most influential figures in American history, his personal life was marked by youthful love, separation, heartbreak and complicated choices. At just 17 years old in 1723, Franklin found himself deeply attached to 15-year-old Deborah Read while staying as a boarder in her family home. What followed was a story shaped by distance, uncertainty and the realities of 18th-century life, unfolding alongside Franklin’s early ambitions and travels abroad.


Franklin proposed to Deborah during his stay with the Read family. However, her mother hesitated to approve the match. Franklin was preparing to travel to London at Governor Keith’s request, and his financial situation was unstable. Having recently lost her own husband, Deborah’s mother was cautious about her daughter’s future and ultimately declined the proposal.

Franklin left for London, but his failure to maintain communication created confusion and disappointment. Deborah and her family interpreted his silence as a broken promise. Encouraged by her mother, Deborah married a potter named John Rogers on August 5, 1725. The marriage quickly turned troubled, and Rogers fled to Barbados with her dowry to escape debts and prosecution.


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When Franklin returned in 1726, he resumed his relationship with Deborah. They entered into a common-law marriage. They later had two children of their own. Their son, Francis Folger Franklin, died of smallpox at the age of four. Their daughter, Sarah Sally Franklin, was born in 1743 and later married Richard Bache.

Deborah’s life was shaped by long separations from her husband. She feared sea travel and never joined Franklin on his extended trips to Europe. Deborah wrote to him expressing that she was unwell due to distressed feelings caused by his prolonged absence. Franklin did not return until he had completed his work. Deborah Read Franklin died of a stroke on December 14, 1774, while Franklin was on an extended mission in Great Britain. He returned the following year, in 1775, after her passing.
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