‘Pretending not to care is not maturity’: IITian-turned-ISKCON monk Gauranga Das on building healthy relationships

Today’s word of the day is nonchalance, which, according to the Cambridge Dictionary, translates to ‘behaving in a calm manner, often in a way that suggests you are not interested’. As individuals grow busier in their professional lives, not caring has somehow become the norm. We tend to ignore heartfelt messages from our partners, suppress our emotions when confessing our feelings, and try to act cool in the face of workplace achievements. Somewhere in the path of becoming adults, we realized that showing emotions is an act of weakness. But IIT Bombay alumnus-turned ISKCON monk Gauranga Das begs to differ.

Gauranga Das, who often shares his powerful insights about life on social media, has dropped another thought-provoking video on Instagram. In the clip, the spiritual leader talked about how nonchalance and indifference are posing a hindrance to building healthy and meaningful relationships.

Gauranga Das on nonchalance

As per Gauranga Das, the general tendency of people today is to act nonchalantly: hiding true feelings, not expressing oneself freely, and pretending that nothing affects them, be it something good or bad. Reason? ‘Just to look cool’. Although nonchalance is often mistaken for confidence, Gauranga argues that it is the biggest sign of emotional immaturity.



Gauranga Das explained that people like to act nonchalantly because they are afraid of being too vulnerable. He pointed out that real courage lies in expressing yourself, speaking your mind, always wearing your heart on your sleeve and being open. Contrary to general belief, only those who are brave can be vulnerable, while others mask their emotions in the veil of not caring, as it is an easier option than holding one’s true self in front of somebody.

Gauranga Das on why nonchalance is never the answer

The spiritual leader added that nonchalance can never allow you to build healthy and real relationships, be it with your family, partner, friends, or colleagues. According to Gauranga Das, long-lasting bonds are a direct result of communication and authenticity. ‘Being distant may look cool, but being emotionally available is what builds lasting respect,’ he emphasised.

In conclusion, Gauranga Das encouraged everyone to ‘be chalant enough to reply on time, show effort, and express what you feel instead of acting mysterious’ because being real, warm and expressive is what truly makes us human and is ‘way cooler’ than acting as if you are a rock and nothing touches your heart.

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Gauranga Das (@officialgaurangadas)

More on Gauranga Das

Gauranga Das is currently a member of ISKCON’s Governing Body Commission, serving as the director of Govardhan Ecovillage (GEV), a model of sustainable living founded by Radhanath Swami. Under his leadership, GEV received the UN World Tourism Organization Award in 2017 and gained accreditation with major UN bodies, including UNEP, ECOSOC, UNCCD, and CBD.

Beyond environmental efforts, Gauranga Das plays a significant role in education and leadership development. He is on the board of the Govardhan School of Public Leadership, which prepares aspirants for the civil services. He also heads the Bhaktivedanta Research Centre, which preserves ancient Vedic manuscripts and offers postgraduate programs in philosophy.