Dr D's column: Should Jofra Archer have played to the gallery against the Aussies?

Jofra Archer accidentally hit Steve Smith with a ball.

Dr D's column: Should Jofra Archer have played to the gallery against the Aussies?
He is one of the leading doctors in the country. He values his privacy (but not of his clients).

Dear Dr D,

Smithy almost died today. Or maybe yesterday. I cannot be sure. I remember seeing the ball leave my hand and make forceful contact on his neck. He fell. I was concerned, so I went across. I examined the ball. It was not badly damaged. I walked back to my mark, noticing, through peripheral vision, that the others were crowded around Smithy, who lay poleaxed near the footmarks. The non-striker almost in tears.

It struck me that happy teams are all alike; every unhappy team is unhappy in its own way.


I stroked my gonads gently with the seam: Dukes, light of my life. Fire of my loins.

There was a sound in the distance. Booing me? Cheering him? It did not matter: Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these tests must show.

It was a bright cold day in August, and the clocks were striking thirteen. That meant that tea was about to be called. It was inevitable: The scent of bitter almonds always reminded me of the fate of unrequited love.
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Someone must have slandered me, for the next morning, without having done anything truly wrong, I was charged with apathy. Was it fair to me?
J Archer, Lords

Dear J,
If you prick us, do we not bleed?
If you tickle us, do we not laugh?
If you poison us, do we not die?
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And if you wrong us, shall we not revenge?

(Statutory Warning: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.)

Steve Smith, Mohammad Aamir, Ben Stokes: Cricket Stars Who Fared Well In Their First Test After Exile
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How leading international cricketers fared in their first Test match upon return from exile.

(In pic from left: Steve Smith, Mohammad Aamir, Ben Stokes)

How leading international cricketers fared in their first Test match upon return from exile.(In pic from left: Steve Smith, Mohammad Aamir, Ben Stokes)

Suspension sentence: One year
Charged with: Ball tampering
Performance in first Test upon return: 144 and 142, three catches.

In March 2018, Australian Test captain Steve Smith admitted to tampering the ball while on tour in South Africa. Smith received a one-year ban from cricket, and made his return to international cricket in this summer’s World Cup. But the first Test he played upon return was the first Ashes Test at Edgbaston last week. It couldn’t have gone better for Smith.

Stripped off captaincy roles, he relished the responsibility. He hit a century in both innings, scoring 144 and 142, and almost single handedly earned his side a 1-0 lead. The best compliments came in the form of comparisons with the peerless Don Bradman, who had similarly taken on England in the 1948 Ashes.

Suspension sentence: One yearCharged with: Ball tampering Performance in first Test upon return: 144 and 142, three catches.In March 2018, Australian Test captain Steve Smith admitted to tampering th..
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Self-imposed exile: Three years
Performance in first Test upon return: 107 and 80 not-out

Geoffrey Boycott, in what was the prime of his career in 1974, made himself unavailable for selection. He said he lost his appetite for the game, but his autobiography hinted that it may have been linked to the appointment of Mike Denness as captain.

But the time spent away from the pitch didn’t seem to have made impact on his game. In his first match upon return, aged 37, he batted on every one of the five days of cricket, scoring 107 and an unbeaten 80, as he saw England home by seven wickets. He would go on to play 45 more Tests, continuing to play until the ripe old age of 42.

Self-imposed exile: Three yearsPerformance in first Test upon return: 107 and 80 not-outGeoffrey Boycott, in what was the prime of his career in 1974, made himself unavailable for selection. He said ..
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