Princess Diaries: Who's the fairest of them all?
Recently, Kensington Palace quashed rumours about a rift between Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle.
By ET Bureau |
Agencies
Dear Dr D,
We are two recently anointed princesses possessing various titles through our marriage including Countess of Wessex (CoW ) and Sovereign of Worcestershire (SoW).
Anyway, we’re both young and fetching looking and not lacking for attention. Also, we have both produced or are in the process of producing heirs (in the case of one of us, an heir and a spare). But after a few months of feigned togetherness, we have decided we have irreconcilable differences.
Such as:
- Who wears Balenciaga and who Dior?
- We have only 1,331 house staff. This is an odd number. Who keeps the extra servant?
- When one of us slums it by closing her own car door, should the other as well?
- Why should there be equal paparazzi coverage when one of us is dishier?
And so on, you get the picture.
The problem, Dr D, is that we have to decide who must stay on at Kensington Palace and who must be off to the Windsor. The advantage of the former is that one gets to stay on in London but in the latter one is rid of the other relatives. Could you solve this for us?
CoW and SoW, U Kingdom
Dear CoW and SoW,
How I wish we had the same problems you did. Fake rulers in fake fights on fake news. In our parts, the fights are real, the news is depressingly true but the rulers just as ditzy.
We are two recently anointed princesses possessing various titles through our marriage including Countess of Wessex (CoW ) and Sovereign of Worcestershire (SoW).
Anyway, we’re both young and fetching looking and not lacking for attention. Also, we have both produced or are in the process of producing heirs (in the case of one of us, an heir and a spare). But after a few months of feigned togetherness, we have decided we have irreconcilable differences.
Such as:
- Who wears Balenciaga and who Dior?
- We have only 1,331 house staff. This is an odd number. Who keeps the extra servant?
- When one of us slums it by closing her own car door, should the other as well?
- Why should there be equal paparazzi coverage when one of us is dishier?
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And so on, you get the picture.
The problem, Dr D, is that we have to decide who must stay on at Kensington Palace and who must be off to the Windsor. The advantage of the former is that one gets to stay on in London but in the latter one is rid of the other relatives. Could you solve this for us?
CoW and SoW, U Kingdom
Dear CoW and SoW,
How I wish we had the same problems you did. Fake rulers in fake fights on fake news. In our parts, the fights are real, the news is depressingly true but the rulers just as ditzy.
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STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.Prince Harry and Meghan Markle are ready to start a new chapter in their lives. Harry, 34, and Meghan, 37 — who are expecting their first child together in the spring — are moving into Windsor Castle’s Frogmore Cottage, and out of Kensington Palace, where Prince William and Kate Middleton live.
Windsor, located about 30 miles west of London, is a “special place” for the couple, as it served as the setting for their wedding. Frogmore House, located near the couple’s cottage, was where their evening wedding party was held and where their engagement photos were taken about a year ago.
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