Dr. D's column: Jack Ma and the Communist Party

He is one of the leading doctors in the country. He values his privacy (but not of his clients).

Dear Dr D,

I read this headline in the morning’s newspaper about myself: “Jack Ma, China’s richest man, belongs to the Communist Party. Of course”.


The report contains this line: “It may sound contradictory that the wealthy Mr Ma belongs to an organisation that got its start calling for empowerment of the proletariat.”

I detect a note of derision and sarcasm in these words, Doc: do you? I need to put the record straight here and please help me out by assessing my response.

First things first: Am I not the proletariat? The word refers to the working class. You think it’s possible to get as many billions I have by not working?


Second, Socialism is premised on spreading the wealth around. But you need to have wealth first before you spread it around, right? I am doing my bit for Marx.

Third, and I must confess this may sound strange, but I had no desire to be a member of the Communist Party; it was forced upon me. I blame the influence of Bollywood and your leader on our society. On one of his many visits to Ahmedabad, Xi was introduced to the Great Leader’s surviving parent.

On the return visit, Xi wanted to impress him by calling me in and saying: “Mere paas bhi Ma hai.”

Now what can I do?

J Ma,
Beijing-San Francisco

Dear Mr Ma,

I can only congratulate you for having the good fortune to not have made your billions in this country. Not only would you have been pilloried for your wealth but you would have come under suspicion for the name of your company, Alibaba.
* STATUTORY WARNING: This humour column is not for the weak-kneed or the thin-skinned.