Five ways to stop being a people pleaser at workplace

People become associated with taking on heavy workloads and being pushovers, which makes other colleagues take advantage of their willing attitude. Brinda Dasgupta brings you tips from experts on how to stop being a people pleaser at work.

1) Recognise the Symptoms
If you are constantly saying ‘yes’ to work when you actually should say ‘no’, you will only encourage this to happen repeatedly. All of this will eventually lead to burnout and impact the quality of other deliverables, which are core to your role. “It is important to set boundaries and clearly define your priorities,” says Kannika Sagar, chief people officer at HCL Infosystems.

2) A Self-Assessment is Required

If you are being allocated more than your fair share of work, be clear about the output desired and negotiate the deadlines. “Often, the output desired keeps changing and the scope keeps stretching. These situations create further pressure on other unfinished tasks, and hence, additional stress,” says Aditya Narayan Mishra, CEO of CIEL HR Services.

3) Prioritise Effectively
You need to clearly spell out your priorities in order to leverage your capacity to say ‘no’. “This will help you align your sincere and best effort by clearly segregating urgent, important and routine. Be mindful of your capabilities and competencies,” says Harish Gandhi, director of HR at InterGlobe Enterprises.

4) Take It Slow
To change overnight from a chronic people-pleaser to an assertive individual may upset your manager or immediate colleagues. “Realise that it’s not an overnight task. Start by taking small steps and setting milestones. Easing out of your established behaviour slowly will be less shocking for your colleagues and easier for you, rather than a kneejerk response to every request,” says Sagar.

5) Get External Help
A trained counsellor can help you discover your personality profile and the reasons behind your propensity to shoulder additional workload. “Having understood the root cause, you could consciously work towards getting over it,” says Mishra. “Having logical dialogues around one’s abilities, priorities and willingness to deliver results will further help in building one’s rightful space in the environment,” says Gandhi.