Modern dating has discovered the perfect scam: X user says men are expected to pay the bill on the first date and be the provider; sparks feminism double standard debate

A user on X shared her views on modern dating, focusing on changing gender roles, financial expectations and the idea that men are still often expected to take on the role of provider in relationships.

She captioned the post “Modern dating has discovered the perfect scam”.

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‘Men Must Be Modern When Women Want Freedom’

The user went on to argue that men are expected to adapt to modern ideas about relationships while still being held to traditional expectations when it comes to finances and providing for a partner.

She later continued by saying “Men must be modern when women want freedom, but traditional when the bill arrives. Compete with her at work. Out-earn her at home. Pay for the date. Fund the lifestyle. Be the provider. And never question the arrangement, or suddenly you are “insecure” and “not man enough.”That is not equality.”

‘Modern Dating Has Become This Ritual’

In the video she said “I am going to be called a pick me up and a victim of patriarchy for saying this, but modern dating has become this ritual where everybody secretly knows that the man has to be the provider, but everybody pretends like the man doesn’t have to be.”

Why She Says The First-Date Bill Still Matters

She then pointed to expectations around who should pay on a first date, arguing that some women may view a man's willingness to pay as an important factor when deciding whether to meet again.

She later continued in the video by saying “but the moment a man doesn't pay on the first date, it’s an absolute no for the second date because how can he not pay?”

‘The Man Still Has To Be The Provider’

The user further argued that traditional expectations around men being providers have not disappeared despite changing views on gender roles.

“And so the way modern feminism has shifted dynamics is that the man still has to be the provider. But he has to pretend like it’s not the case.”

“But the reality is how rich a man has actually absolutely still matters today.”

Towards the end of the video, the user said she believes financial security and a partner's ability to provide continue to influence dating expectations.

She concluded the video by saying “let’s not pretend like women don’t want their men to be the providers. They absolutely do. We just pretend like we don’t.”

She also wrote in her caption saying “That is traditional male responsibility wrapped in modern feminist packaging. If gender roles are outdated, then a man’s wallet is not a gender role either. Men, stop auditioning for the privilege of financing someone who calls your obligations “bare minimum.”

Disclaimer: This article is based on a user-generated post on X. ET.com has not independently verified the claims made in the post and does not vouch for their accuracy. The views expressed are those of the individual and do not necessarily reflect the views of ET.com. Reader discretion is advised.