Money & relationships: Spouse not interested in money matters? Here are steps to take to remedy the situation

It’s a problem more common than most couples would want to acknowledge. In households with a single breadwinner, usually the husband, the woman plays an insignificant role in financial decision-making or transactions. However, there are also cases where the woman voluntarily keeps away from financial affairs and shows no interest in either handling or taking responsibility for them.

Though this can be a mutually agreeable work arrangement in some cases, it can put the woman at a disadvantage in more ways than one. In case of an eventuality or untimely death of the husband, the wife not only struggles to grapple with the finances but is often left at the mercy of relatives or friends. In case of a divorce or separation ase well, she can find herself at a loose end. Here’s how to remedy the situation and set right the skew.

1. Know the reason for your wife’s reluctance

The first step is to understand the reason your wife is shirking financial matters. Does she lack confidence, skill, knowledge or experience in monetary affairs? It is possible that she has had no educational qualification or interest in maths or commerce and, hence, lacks confidence in her ability to handle finances.

Alternatively, she could simply have no interest or skill in the subject, making her disagreeable to handling money. If it’s the latter, it may be a good idea to split responsibility in a way that she runs the house and you handle finances. If, on the other hand, it’s simply a case of low confidence, it can be remedied by increasing her exposure to money-related tasks.

2. Delegate financial chores
Splitting financial responsibility is a good ways to provide the much-needed confidence to your wife. A simple way to initiate her in financial matters is to let her manage the household budget. This exercise will not only help her understand the inflow and outgo of money, but also teach her the best ways to save, spend, prepare for financial goals and deal with emergencies. If she shows interest, she could also try her hand at investing and realise she is good at it due to her natural ability to handle risk, save more and stay on course while investing for the long term.

3.Fix a time for discussions
Even if your spouse is not handling financial matters, it is a good idea to fix a time once a month or with any desirable frequency, to discuss the financial developments related to the household or life goals. You could apprise her of any investments made, transactions conducted, insurance bought, assets sold, proximity to goals, losses suffered or any other financial decisions taken during the period. While it’s not important to focus on the nitty-gritty, she should be aware of the overall financial situation in the family.

4. Keep a written record of all financial information
If the wife is completely disinterested or not skilled in financial matters, it is a good idea to be methodical about documentation and record-keeping. Make sure to keep a record of all investments made, transactions conducted, insurance purchased, nominations made, tax returns filed, information on access to accounts, passwords and logins, keys to bank lockers, joint account numbers, among other details. This will ensure that in case of your untimely death, she has easy access to all the financial information and has little difficulty in taking charge or making a transitions if she is forced to. Keep her in the loop at all times to empower her when needed.

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All of us have been in a financial dilemma when it comes to relationships. How do you say no to a friend who wants you to invest in his new business venture? Should you take a loan from your married brother? Are you concerned about your wife’s impulse buying? If you have any such concerns that are hard to resolve, write in to us at etwealth@timesgroup.com with ‘Wealth Whines’ as the subject.

Disclaimer: The advice in this column is not from a licensed healthcare professional and should not be construed as psychological counselling, therapy or medical advice. ET Wealth and the writer will not be responsible for the outcome of the suggestions made in the column.