Money & relationships: Should I pay my parents for my living expenses?

Raising a child is one of the most expensive exercises, costing several lakhs, even without considering fancy higher education or wedding. So once the child is educated and earning a livelihood as an adult, is there any obligation on his part to pay his parents?

Conditioned as most Indians are to living with their parents as adults before marriage, and even afterwards, there is history and expectation of supporting parents in their post-retirement years. However, with changing times and nuclear families, parents are learning to be financially independent without having to seek their kids’ financial support. Is there, then, a case for adult children providing financial assistance to their parents? While this decision is mostly subjective and dictated in part by the family dynamics and parent-child relationship, here are some things you could consider before arriving at a decision.

• What is your earning capacity?

Have you just started working or have you been doing so for several years? Are you in a high-paying job and financially comfortable or in a startup and yet to break even? If you are just starting out in your career, you may not be expected or able to contribute much financially. If settled, you should have the courtesy to pay rent and contribute a fixed amount for your living expenses. The amount can be decided depending on the household expenses. Alternately, you could take upon a defined family expense, say, utilities or medical outgo.

• Are you staying away from your parents?

If you have taken up a job in a different city, you may not need to contribute the rent or personal expenses, or even be expected to offer support at least in the initial years of your work life. If, however, you are away, firmly ensconsed in your career and want to contribute financially, you could decide on an amount depending on your parents’ needs and offer it to them on a monthly basis or as suitable to them.

• Are you single or married?

A big deciding factor for how much support you are able to offer financially to your parents will depend on your own marital status. If you have a dependent spouse and kids, you may not be able to spare a large amount as you will need to invest for the kids’ goals and your own retirement. If you have a working partner, you will have to consider his/her decision on the amount you can spare. Of course, if you are in a joint family, you will need to calculate your share of the total expenses and contribute the same to the household.

• What is the financial status of your parents?

If your parents are well off, you may not feel the pressure to offer financial help, but if you still want to contribute, you can choose the amount depending on your economic status and the obligation you feel. If, however, the parents are struggling with their expenses, make sure you spare enough to help them, be it with their medical needs or fixed household expenses. If you are financially strong, spare no expenses.

• Help them in other ways

If the parents are not comfortable seeking your support financially, you could help them in other ways. You could plan their investments, help them with taxation or other documentation work, medical needs, commuting and transportation, etc.

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Disclaimer
The advice in this column is not from a licensed healthcare professional and should not be construed as psychological counselling, therapy or medical advice. ET Wealth and the writer will not be responsible for the outcome of the suggestions made in the column.