The fakir in the sky

An ad that we may see in the future if multimillionaire Dennis Tito has his way, would be something like “Wanted: middle-aged, married couple for a 501-day round trip to Mars. Must be mechanically gifted, physically and emotionally robust, and willing to line the interior of the spacecraft with their own faeces.” The idea, which is the brainchild of Tito’s Inspiration team, seems to solve some seemingly insoluble deep-space travel problems.


For instance, companionship and bickering. A well-adjusted couple who’ve been happily married for at least 20 years should qualify much better since they would be quite comfortable with each other’s constant presence than random single-sex astronauts, no matter how long they’ve known each other in training.

Also, chances are their emotional maturity would help them get over the aversion to having dehydrated — for extracting water — faeces around them in order to block deadly cosmic radiation. As great as that sounds, here’s a better idea: send a genuine spiritual hermit-fakir who is a master in the yogic arts. Such a man who’s accustomed to living alone for long periods of time would not only be in the peak of health but also psychologically and spiritually adept to adapt to various changing external conditions. Also, being used to gobar-covered walls, dried faeces would be a cinch.

And, finally, sending one person instead of two reduces the lift-off weight and on-board food and water supply and, therefore, brings down cost as well as travel time significantly.

Thus, the same future ad might now read something like “Wanted: from India, one fakir for easy out-of-world experience. Astronaut experience or training not needed.”