Reflect on forgiveness

Very often, exhortations are made, " Forgive and forget", reminding the listener also that forgiveness cannot be complete without forgetting it all. However, all (from saints to sinners) know that unless afflicted by illness or amnesia, one cannot erase memories, especially the bitter ones.

Then, what is the purpose of it all? Would all talk on forgiving prove to be illusory?

The answers lie in first understanding one's actual objective, and also the very concept and purpose behind forgiveness.

Addressing yourself, realise that the objective is, first and foremost, healing and benefitting yourself. Therefore, the main task in hand is to cleanse yourself of the trauma left behind by the gnawing agony and shock suffered in the knowledge that you have been wronged, taken for a ride and 'used'.

Now, knowing fully that the objective of healing yourself cannot be realised by forgetting (which is not possible)or by wallowing in self-pity, grudges or wishing that retribution visit the other person, realise, for a change, that the other person too is a child of God, as you are, and that with different upbringing and conditioning, he may not have acted the way he did. Conceive not of what he has been and what he is, but what he is capable of and what he could have been, if only....

In the altered perception, you would see different dimensions to the issue. A practical type of forgiveness, where you would be the principal beneficiary, would emerge. You would also divine a unique type of 'forgetting'. This too would benefit you and benefit you immensely!