Saying sorry

Apologising is difficult but, once done, it brings a sense of immense relief. Apologising is an important step towards spiritual growth. Even if we do not accept spiritual growth to be the purpose of life, apologising gives us joy and lasting mental peace, which we are all looking for; spiritual growth would occur anyway, irrespective of whether we know about it, want it or care for it. Thus, apologising does more good to us than to the person to whom we apologise.

Why something that brings joy and lasting mental peace, and helps us mend relationships, should be so difficult is primarily because of the ego. It is the ego that makes us view apologising as humiliation. Apologising needs humility but is not humiliating. Apologising is an act of courage, and its effect is uplifting. If a sincere and humble apology is offered to someone younger or in a subordinate position, it is not only more uplifting, it is also a good and uplifting example for the younger person; it may help him pass on the act to his children.

A married person soon learns that it is much better and easier to apologise than to argue, even when the person is right, and the partner is wrong. Therefore, married life is a good field for learning to apologise. With apologies to Alexander Pope, to err is human, to apologise divine.