Praise & Censure

Those who are motivated by praise will be demotivated by non-praise. The Bhagwad Gita gives 20 qualities of a jnani, 35 qualities of a bhakt, and 26 qualities of the Divine. Nowhere does it talk of the ability to praise others as a good quality. Traditionally, gurus were not known to praise either.

We always crave approval. To be praised, to be validated, is a basic human need. However, it is a double-edged sword. It cuts both ways. When praise motivates, criticism demotivates. But what others think of us cannot be controlled. It is possible that when we do the right thing, the world may criticise us, and people may praise us. Oftentimes, others use praise and criticism as a carrot-and-stick approach to get us to bend to their will.

Strength of character lies in upholding what one believes is correct, whether or not others appreciate it. For those brought up on a diet of praise, this becomes exceedingly difficult. They require praise, whether or not their actions justify it. And in the pursuit of that praise, they may also perform wrong actions. An earlier generation of parents disregarded competition and awards for their children, regardless of their performance. Self-esteem arises from being able to set and pursue worthy goals. It's a gift we give ourselves. This is an independent joy; not contingent on what others say but on our own good sense and judgement.


So, should we never praise others? Yes, we should praise others, but we should also know how not to depend on praise. Thus, the Gita talks of being 'alike in praise and censure'.