When colonisers beat off colonisers

One big, whimsical thing to consider every time you follow 4th of July celebrations in America: so, what kind of smile do Native Americans have on their faces when they see fellow Americans celebrating 'Independence Day'? Fireworks sparkle, barbecues sizzle, the Orange One fist-pumps - and irony dances joyfully in red, white and blue, as the US celebrates its glorious break-up with Britain, the OG coloniser, as if 'Americans' shooed all land-grabbers back to where they came from. But here's the plot twist that gets buried in the parades: it wasn't so much oppressed people rising up as one bunch of settlers telling another, 'We got this now, cheers for the continent.'

The 'Founding Fathers', that group of powdered wig aficionados, weren't fighting tyranny to liberate America's original inhabitants, or free those they 'imported' to work 'for cheap'. They simply wanted to run the colonial gig themselves, with fewer taxes and more personal brand freedom. Their declaration of independence might as well have included: 'We hold these truths to be self-evident... unless you're Native American, enslaved or inconvenient to manifest destiny.' So, as stars and stripes fly high, remember: Independence Day marks rebranding of muskets. While Native Americans look on with unbridled, bareback sniggers, with an appreciation for theatrics of the absurd.