What's a fact but a 2nd-hand emotion?

Let not the 'fact' that it's All Fools' Day, and that we're airing this opinion in this secluded corner of this page take away from the seriousness of what we are about to say: facts don't matter. Uh-huh, not one bit. What does is believing - that pigs can fly, that the future is all aglitter, that that singular figure from the past is responsible for all our woes. To misquote the lovely Tina Turner, 'What's facts got to do, got to do with it?/ What's a fact but a second-hand emotion?'

Facts are just the annoying party guest who keeps pointing out that the chips are stale and music off-key. They are overrated. Those pesky nuggets of truth demand research, verification and, worst of all, thinking. Why bother with all that when you can just say, 'I feel like this is true,' and call it a day? Feelings are the new facts, and they're way more fun. Who cares if the Earth is round or flat? As long as you're not falling off the edge, does it really matter? Facts have this nasty habit of making people argue. 'Actually, the data shows....' Ugh, who invited that guy? Opinions, on the other hand, are like warm hugs. They don't need proof; they just need passion. So, April 1st and beyond, let's liberate ourselves from the tyranny of facts. Let's embrace the freedom of saying whatever we want, whenever we want, without evidence getting in the way.