[Ting, tong] Hello, are you really ill?

This is what nightmares and ulcers are made of - a world where your boss shows up at your doorstep, clipboard in hand, to check if your sniffles are genuine, or are as dodgy as facts in a Trump stump speech. Welcome to Tesla's Berlin gigafactory, where even penitentiaries would blush at the level of surveillance. In a move that would make boot camp sneakerish, the Tesla management has decided that home visits - by bosses - are the best way to improve sagging work ethic. The trade union at IG Metall is understandably outraged, likening the factory's atmosphere to a 'culture of fear'. With sick leave rates soaring to 15%, it's clear that stress levels are through the roof. Unsurprisingly, Tesla management has a different take: they believe some workers are exploiting Germany's labour laws as there is a mysterious spike in sick leaves on Fridays and late shifts. Maybe it's just a coincidence - it is, after all, the start of Oktoberfest - or the allure of a long weekend, or...

Yes, but this attendance check seems a bit too much even by Musk-ular tough love standards, no? If this fails to get workers to return to the shop floor, what would be the next step? Hidden cameras in employees' homes? Or a drone hovering over their beds, ready to zap them back to work at the first sign of a cough? Let's just say we admire Tesla - from afar.