The next step in arranged marriages

Indian parents have always been way ahead of everyone else - Victorian British parents from the landed gentry included - in arranging arranged marriages. Even in 2025, parents deciding their offspring's life partners (however long one decides to define 'life') is far more common than weekend feature stories on relationship apps make them out to be. So, if there's one demographic that can turn gay arranged marriage into a full-blown thing, it's Indian parents. These are the same folks who can find a groom for their daughter using only a birth chart, a caste filter and the chap's position in the green card queue.

Once a WhatsApp forward claims homosexuality was invented by some mythological figure, they'll go full throttle. Matrimonial ads will evolve: 'Seeking well-settled boy for our son. Must be Manglik, vegan and emotionally available.' Aunties will adapt faster than iPhone updates. Kitty parties will become queer compatibility summits. 'My niece is gay and a software engineer. Yours is gay and a dentist. Perfect match! Both can afford a duplex in Noida.' And let's not forget the wedding itself. Two grooms, three choreographed sangeets, and one uncle who still thinks it's a joint bachelor party. The priest will catch on, cousins will cheer and parents will cry - with joy, because the lehenga budget was saved on matching sherwanis.