The great India vs Pakistan cricket con

You can kid yourself as much as you want, but India's win over Pakistan in Sunday's game - the former's 8th victory vs the latter's 1 in T20 World Cup matches - really should slap you awake to the fact that India v. Pakistan cricket isn't just dead rubber, but dead rubber duckie. It's the brand equivalent of milk left out in May - curdled, sour, and yet still marketed as 'premium rivalry'. Once upon a time, sure, it was gladiatorial theatre. Now, it's a limp hand of a buried body still being sold as a high five.

It's a bit sad, really. Not the fact that every match is dressed up as Armageddon, while the vibe is closer to two uncles playing carrom at a wedding, but the fact that people also fall for the gag. Broadcasters still roll out sepia montages of Wasim Akram and Sachin Tendulkar, as if VHS tapes can resurrect adrenaline. To keep this zombie brand alive, custodians deploy increasingly desperate tricks: 'The clash of titans!' taglines and borrowing geopolitical narratives to scrape the pot. The true rivalry now is between marketing departments and reality. India v. Pakistan cricket isn't a rivalry any more, but nostalgic running between the wickets with a PR budget. And like all exhibits, it survives not on relevance but on the fact that dupes still gather to see the embalmed spectacle. What next? Prop up India v. China antakshari contests?