Shh... AMRA: Alaska Made Russian again!

By the time you read this, Messrs V Putin and D Trump have already 'meeted and greeted' at a US air base near Anchorage in Alaska. But one thing that has been kept secret - to which we have been privy because of our impeccable sources - involves a geopolitical plot twist worthy of a vodka-soaked streaming show. The two presidents reportedly finalised a classified deal that returns Alaska - its name from the Alaskan Aleut language word 'alaxsxaq', means 'object towards which the action of the sea is directed' - to Mother Russia. It is a return, since prior to its sale to the US in 1867 for $7.2 mn, Alaska was the capital of 'Russian America', the European country's colonial territories in the Americas between 1732 and 1867.

This top-secret deal was conducted in a separate site inside a Costco aisle between the frozen meats and babycare sections. The US allegedly paid Russia an 'unsubstantiated amount'. Sources say, Moscow will share a portion of this windfall with Alaska's OG inhabitants that include Inupiats, Yupiks, Aleuts, Eyaks, Tlingits, Haidas, Tsimshians, Northern Athabaskans and Russian Creoles. So, even though Alaskans don't know it, America's 49th state (it was a 'territory' before that) has been quietly made Russian again. Once again, the Art of the Deal finds its mark. Ypa! - (pronounced 'ura') which is Russian for hurrah!