Return of the 53-yr AWOL space can

Like that retired bureaucrat last promoted during the Third Front government, Kosmos-482 never got the memo. Launched in March 1972 - Indira Gandhi was PM, and Francis Ford Coppola's The Godfather had just hit the screens - this Soviet spacecraft was supposed to reach Venus. It failed. But like that chap who went to vanvaas, it's crashing back to Earth this weekend, uninvited, and with no clear landing spot.

53 years hanging out in space thanks to a botched rocket stage, it never left Earth's orbit. Instead, it was 'out of town' missing out on the end of the Cold War, the collapse of its 'home', the Soviet Union, and never got to enjoy the whole punk, disco, hip-hop, grunge or EDM era. Now, gravity has had enough, and Kosmos-482 - which also has no clue about acronymic cousins like C3PO and R2D2 - is making its final descent - at speeds of up to 242 km/h. There's one hitch, though. Like the returning relative who had gone AWOL, no one knows where it will land. Experts predict it could touch down anywhere between 52° north and 52° south latitude - in other words, that includes most of the populated world. Built to withstand Venus' brutal atmosphere, 482 may well survive re-entry. So, if you see the half-century-old past hurtling towards you this weekend, don't panic. Get nostalgic. And follow the mock drill you've been practising this week.