Porn-again wisdom, this time prompted

The moment OpenAI's Sam 'We're Adults' Altman announced ChatGPT will be happy to produce erotica (read: pornography) upon being prompted, a thousand think-pieces were born - each more breathless than the last. 'What about real relationships?' cried people who haven't spoken about much beyond think-pieces to their loved ones at the dinner table. 'It's addictive!' wailed grown-ups, who binge true crime-streaming shows like it's emotional kale.

Yes, the panic is real. Apparently, erotica written by a robot is the final straw for civilisation. Not climate collapse, not microplastics in your spleen - no, it's the AI-generated thigh-touch that will ruin marriages and melt healthy carnal engagement. Because nothing says 'health crisis' like your partner whispering sweet nothings sourced from a chatbot trained on Nancy Friday classics, Reddit fanfic and 'Ek Raat Mein Ajnabi'. The fear is that people will prefer AI-written desire to actual human intimacy. Which is rich, considering half of humanity already prefers sexting over mumbling. And let's be honest: if your relationship can be toppled by a paragraph or non-pixellated imagery of algorithmic lust, it wasn't exactly built on granite. Maybe the real threat isn't the erotica - it's the realisation that your partner finds more nuance in a chatbot's dirty talk than in your last anniversary card.