Outlook outage ate my homework

For generations, kids relied on a faithful canine to explain missing homework. On late-Thursday and Friday, Microsoft provided millions of office-goers with a considerably more sophisticated excuse than 'The dog ate my homework': a global Outlook outage. The dog seems to have migrated to the cloud. As Outlook, Teams and other Microsoft services went belly-up, corporate civilisation as we know it - and, boy, do we! - experienced an unfamiliar sensation: legit idleness. eMails remained unsent. Meetings evaporated. Deadlines went voosh-ing over heads.

Microsoft reported server troubles, while millions of users reported something approaching happiness. For once, 'Sorry, Outlook is down' was the Real Huang. The implications are revolutionary. Entire industries devoted to forwarding emails, scheduling meetings about previous meetings, and copying 17 colleagues into discussions concerning proper breathing during team-building sessions, could temporarily cease functioning. Economists may, one day, discover that productivity actually increased. Naturally, management demands an explanation. Microsoft will apologise for inadvertently allowing employees to experience life. So, what next? Google - with Gmail, Google Docs, Drive, Calendar and Search in its ark - going down? Frankly, we can't wait - while workaholics like Narayana Murthy seek out counselling.