Ore baba! Kolkata is a (Pakistani) target!

Ore baba! Kolkata, that languid city of 'Ma, Machher Jhol, Manush' and governments that never got the memo that they're no longer in agitational opposition, has suddenly found itself in the centre of news - or at least in the centre of the sidelines of news. Pakistan's defence minister Khawaja Asif - who, incidentally, was a 22-yr-old lad when his country lost East Pakistan - has warned of striking Kolkata in some hypothetical future conflict with India. One would have assumed the Kolkatan to be startled by this 'threat'. But temporarily breaking off from a heated argument about Tagore vs Marx, Pather Panchali vs Dhurandhar, Didi vs Dada, the citizen of joy is pleased as punch phoron for being remembered by Asif. Economically and politically marginalised since a while, Kolkata has, even if for a day or two, been upgraded to 'strategic target'. Daroon!

Suddenly, Howrah Bridge, Victoria Memorial and the Kolkata Metro need protection - not from usual disrepair but from pernicious outsiders in league with neo-imperialist Yankees. Asif's threat elevates Kolkata from neglected outpost to coveted bullseye, a promotion no Bengal Chamber of Commerce could have engineered. This is the ultimate revenge of the periphery: to be noticed not for penury or poetry but for its potential to be terrified. Who knows? This may see the return of Netaji.