Oliver twisted out of paneer proportion

Beware the wrath of the paneer-lover scorned. If you thought India's culture wars are being fought over veg vs non-veg lines - or veg jokes vs non-veg ones - think again. Within the vegetarian community, fissures may be developing. At a wedding in Hamidpur village in UP's Chandauli district, a guest, Dharmendra Yadav a.k.a. Bamboo, was denied another round of his beloved paneer. Now, denying wedding guests a second helping is always risky. Perhaps Hamidpur's Oliver Twist did not ask, 'Please, sir, I want some more,' north Indian paneer substituting for Dickensian porridge, politely enough. But once denied is twice slighted. The under-paneered Bamboo got into his minibus, and reportedly drove it into the wedding mandap, crashing into a wall in retaliation. It wasn't funny that people gathered were injured, from both groom and bride's side.

Not to sound as if we condone behaviour of someone rightly charged under attempt to murder and endangering human life by rash driving - this was not a hit-and-run case, as non-celebrity Bamboo did not run after hitting - we wonder why another round of paneer was denied. Indian weddings notoriously try to overfeed guests as part of decor and decorum. Perhaps the dish had run out. Perhaps the amount of food on Bamboo's plate required intervention. Whatever be the case, it was paneer, yet so far.