Oh, this competitive annual well-wishing

Birthday wishes have mutated into such a competitive art form - less sentiment, more time-stamped warfare - that we just have to sit up, take note, and order ourselves a participatory cake. Take Shabana Azmi's birthday that falls tomorrow. A veritable hashtag melee will start tonight itself across social media to be the 'first-est' and loudest and most 'eloquent-est' to wish the doyenne of Indian cinema a happy 75th. The goal? Be first. Be visible/audible by ensuring everyone knows who the wisher is. Be emotionally extravagant. We live in an age when holding back is considered suspect. Going completely OTT in wishing Shabanaji a glorious birthday may just get you a producer for a film you have planned and tucked away in one of your files marked 'File'.

Midnight wishers may want to set alarms. Pre-wishers hedge against time collapse, anyway. Instagram tributes should rival Oscar montages. Miss the window and you're socially demoted. The birthday wish is no longer a gesture - it's a performance scored by what has been left over by the now-languishing greeting cards industry. Remember, print medium exists to facilitate your felicitations in the form of giant birthday cards. You're not celebrating life. You're auditioning for relevance. And in this outburst of high-decibel well-wishery, sincerity does play a role - an important supporting one.