NY resolution No. 3: Boycott fire

This New Year, in your not-to-be-coughed-at attempts to drive toxicity out of air - not to be confused with attempts to drive out air with toxicity - as part of 2025 Honest ET List of Resolutions (HETLoR), boycott fire. Every tandoor, every open flame at weddings, every ceremonial puja fire... snuff it out and exile that silly idiom, 'Where there is smoke there is fire,' into linguistic jahannam. Inspired by Delhi government's ban on tandoors in restaurants and eateries under Section 31(A) of the Air (Prevention and Control of Pollution) Act 1981, put an end to all coal- and firewood-fuelled flames, matchsticks included. Frankly, do away with gas-based or other cleaner-based appliances as well.

Fire has had a good run - millennia of dominance, endless cameos in mythology and movies, and a starring role in every dhaba and Mughlai joint. It's time for a cold revolution. At weddings, couples can circle a battery-powered LED lamp, its flicker powered by three AA cells. Pujas can be conducted around induction cooktops, while tandoori chicken can be rebranded as 'USB-heated poultry surprise'. Progress is microwaving fire goodbye. Humbugs will say this is absurd, and you'll relapse into your agneepath before the first week of the new year is done. But you'll be surprised what you can achieve by turning off aag. Old flames were always overrated anyway.