No AIIF or buts, FFBWill get our goals

Perhaps inspired by the ongoing World Cup, the All India Football Federation (AIFF) has at last found the golden key to global footballing glory: a name change. By renaming itself as Football Federation of Bharat (FFB), the masters of Indian golbaazi have suggested a power play bordering on genius. Forget grassroots coaching, infrastructure, or player development-we saw post-Nehruvian India dabble in this, and fail. The real path to becoming a world footballing powerhouse lies in semantic sorcery.

For decades, India has languished on the world stage, its footballing ambitions tripping over shoelaces and politics. But now, with one stroke of bureaucratic brilliance, AIFF has realised that destiny is not forged on the pitch but in the registry. Bharat will surely dribble past everyone, nutmeg opposition and volley into Fifa's elite. Infrastructure can wait. Grassroots development from schools upwards can tarry. Identity can't. And in a country where symbolism regularly trumps substance, this is a plan of dazzling consistency. So, let the world tremble. Football Federation of Bharat will be India's BFF. Soon, Messi will bow, Mbappe salute and Fifa will rewrite its rankings-like Reporters Without Borders rejigging India's place in World Press Freedom Index. When reality bites, just rename it to something inspirational. Rest will follow.