Nicking the gravitas off important people

The world would be a bit less exhausting if more important people went by their nicknames. Authority has suffered for too long from an excess of syllables. Chairpersons, presidents, CEOs, governors and distinguished professors stride into public life burdened with names apparently designed to be engraved on foundation stones. A nickname immediately lets some air out of the hearse.

Imagine the improvement if the head of a bank (the kind that's 'too big to fail') were known universally as Bunty. 'Bunty warns of prolonged inflation' is somehow less alarming than the same warning issued by Dharmendra D Pratap. Markets might still fall but with greater affection. Nicknames also perform an essential democratic function: they puncture grandeur without abolishing respect. India has long understood this. Pappu, Bablu, Guddu, Pinky, Monty and innumerable Babus occupy a parallel republic. You may become chairman emeritus, but to your aunt in Kanpur, you remain Golu. This should be encouraged at the highest levels. Annual reports should announce that 'Bobby remains confident about headwinds'. Diplomatic communiques might record that 'Guddi and Ollie held frank discussions'. Wars could become harder to start. Power needs accountability, transparency and institutional checks. What it really needs is someone entering the room saying, 'Oye, Chintu.'