Like what you get, or get what you like?

Holi means the onset of spring. Which means we've entered March. So, can the March Hare, that whiskered philosopher of Wonderland, be far behind? The Furry One declared in Lewis Carroll's classic: 'You might just as well say that 'I like what I get' is the same thing as 'I get what I like'!' And, with that, he invented modern consumerism, and the existential crisis of choosing between kale and cake. The hare's logic is the perfect anthem for March: a 30-day stretch early in the year that gaslights us into optimism. We buy gym memberships because we 'like' the fantasy of fitness. But what we 'get' is sore hamstrings and a renewed appreciation for couches - not to mention cold compress comfort that we are a member of something that we're expected to be a member of. Politicians promise us prosperity because we 'like' prosperity. But what do we 'get'? Yes, another committee meeting about potholes and finding a solution to human-dog interactions.

And, yet, absurdly, as Alice in her Wonderland experiences can vouch for, it works. March, being the season of cognitive dissonance, is when we convince ourselves that liking what we get is indistinguishable from getting what we like. The hare knew that happiness is not a matter of choice but of rhetorical sleight-of-hand. So, this Holi, know this: Wonderland's not a fantasy, it's an online catalogue.