LeT your follicles guide your faith

Beware the dimming of fury of an operative scorned for his looks. Mohammed Usman Jatt entered J&K from Lahore with the mission to reportedly cause mayhem. But he was arrested by Srinagar Police not after a gunfight but after undergoing a hair transplant. Yes, follicles betrayed him, and his scalp became the site of surrender. For centuries, men and women have gone to war over land, faith, pride. Yet, here was a man whose deepest insecurity was not geopolitical but follicular. Apparently, once Jatt spent some time in Srinagar, not only did he figure that things were substantially different this side of the border than what he was told by his alleged LeT handlers, but that hair transplant in undisputed India was as good as in the West.

So, can we foresee a world where terrorists queue not for munitions but moisturisers? LeT the last word in militant chic, discussing issues like, 'Is the jihadist goatee passe? Should we embrace the full lumberjack?' Wars fought over who has the glossier mane, not who controls the border. A man with a fresh fade is less likely to fade into fanaticism. A woman with a perfect pedicure is unlikely to march into mayhem. Let the only casualties be split ends. Peace, then, may not come from treaties or tanks, but from tweezers and tonics. R&AW's next directive should be 'Comb through salons, not safehouses'.