Have a Holi for cool colourless Goths

So, on Holi, what happens to Goths? No, not members of the Germanic tribe you've encountered in Asterix comics, but members of that 'subculture' who wear solid black clothes, black makeup, and dye their hair jet black (even if they have natural black hair), and listen to bands like The Cure, Bauhaus, and Siouxsie and the Banshees. The reason for us very inclusive lot asking is because Holi is the festival of colours, and Goths celebrate - well, in their own laconic, dour way - the lack of colour. Ergo, black.

Having them over for a Holi party may seem as jarring as wearing pastels to a funeral. But fear not, for where there's black lipstick and a flare for the dramatic, there's always a way to turn Holi into a delightful display of dark, gothic brilliance. Replace the usual rainbow-coloured gulaal and pichkaari with a curated palette of blacks, greys, midnight blues and deep purples. Want them to maintain their vampire aesthetic? Opt for a splash of crimson. Just think: all the specialness of Holi, but with heightened, theatrical countercultural cheerlessness. Swap Bollywood Holi dance numbers for a playlist of Joy Division and the Cult. And nothing says 'dark and brooding' like serving bhang ki thandai in obsidian chalices, alongside jet-black gujias dyed with edible charcoal. After all, life may be meaningless, but Holi doesn't have to be.