Harvard wannabes, go for the car sticker

By wanting to strip Harvard University of its ability to enrol foreign students, the don of Truth Social Community College plans to take care of the age-old question: how does one make Ivy League elitism even more insufferable? Answer: seal it off from cultural and intellectual influences other than that of frat-boy economists who think Adam Smith was one of America's founding fathers. If Trump's ban on non-American smart people manages to overcome Friday's temporary restraining order by a federal judge, no longer will Harvard's hallowed halls echo with the sharp wit of a young French philosopher, or the quiet brilliance of a Japanese physicist, or the strategic pirouettes of an Indian MBA hoopster. Instead, there will be bright lad Chad from Connecticut - with Jacques, Akira and Praveen honing their smarts elsewhere.

Sure, the number of Nobel laureates may fall - even as the likes of Barack Obama (peace), Kenneth Arrow (economics) and Linda Buck (medicine) may secretly disagree. But the number of golf-course business majors will spike. Vardians will be free to learn about international affairs without the bother of actual international people. For all of you planning a Harvard degree, have a Harvard sticker for the back window of your SUV ready. There's always Tsinghua, Heidelberg or Ashoka that can spare you Harvard-Donald blushes.