Guess who Did NOT get the Peace Nobel?

What does human rights activist, Venezuelan opposition leader Maria Corina Machado, have that Donald John Trump doesn't? Well, for starters, the Nobel Peace Prize. But, of course, what we mean is: what qualities does Machado have that has got her that one singular thing that Trump wants in life, and hasn't - yet? Never mind what we think. What matters is what the wannabe thinks to be unfair deciding factors. One, she's a woman. Two, she's from Venezuela. Three, the Oslo syndicate that doles out this gong is as communist as Obama.

But for Don Don, that's where the differences end. Machado has spent decades fighting for democracy, enduring exile, threats and political persecution. That is exactly the very same parameters that Agent Orange has had to endure over the years - according to Agent Orange. ET's mole in the White House has told us that Trump tried Googling her the whole first half of Friday, but got distracted by an ad for 'Nobel Peace Prize replica coins made from Pakistani rare earth minerals - now in MAGA red!' Meanwhile, Machado reportedly said, 'I have Peace. He has issues.' Trump's advisers suggested he start a human rights foundation. Or, start a war himself and then end it. To which, in a moment of clarity, Trump Truth Social-ed: 'Maria Machado? Never heard of her. RIGGED. SAD!' He then demanded - exact quote - 'a recount'.