DISOC™ diwane, aap ki pronunciation app

The English language is a power tool that opens up doors of all kinds, the visa variety included. But it's not so much your English vocabulary that anglophiles judge these days, but how you pronounce when you speak angrezi. In England itself, never mind Britain, dozens of English accents bloom. In India, make that hundreds. So, in a world that has sent humans to the moon, and can send money across miles with the click of a finger, surely, it's possible to break the English pronunciation barrier as a marker of capabilities. Enter DISOC™, 'Dare I Say, Old Chap' app. It will instantly transform every phone call into a patois worthy of Tharoor. So, when your IT support chap from Channarayapatna tells you, 'Sir, have you tried to reboot?' or your doctor from Katwa says, 'Madam, you'll need complete bed rest,' they'll both come across as propah as John Gielgud in Henry V Abey, Downton Abbey, so jaa!

Once and for all, DISOC™ will make Bengalis ridiculously proud of how they pronounce 'indubitably' on par with Punjabis who, on African safaris, shout out, 'Look, loin!' The bubble bursts, gatekeepers tear their hair, and everyone can order samosas in baroque English. So, smart startup whippersnapper, can you code this revolutionary app? Market it    with: 'No one should be judged by how they pronounce 'potato'. By which we mean 'potah-to', of course.'