Computerphobia, yes, it's a thing

Computerphobia. That trembling dread of the glowing screen. It's born not from ignorance but from intimacy. It's the terror of the spouse who knows too much: the machine has seen us at 3 am, hunched like medieval monks, eyes bloodshot, whispering 'just one more spreadsheet'. We fear computers precisely because we cannot stop touching them. The irony is exquisite. One hand clutches the mouse like a rosary, the other hovers over the keyboard as if awaiting divine revelation. The computer is both altar and executioner. We worship its infinite tabs, then recoil when it crashes, as though betrayed by a lover.

Consider the tragicomic rituals. The compulsive refreshing of email, the ceremonial clearing of cache, the sacred reboot. Each act is a prayer to the silicon gods, followed by existential panic when the screen flickers. Computerphobia is not fear of machines. It's fear of ourselves reflected in machines. The endless scrolling, obsessive clicking, dopamine drip of notifications. We are horrified by the mirror, not the glass. And so the phobic addict continues - terrified of the device, yet unable to leave it. Like a moth that despises flame but insists on flying straight into it, we flutter toward the blue light, shrieking, 'I loathe you!' while secretly hoping the Wi-Fi never dies. And it never does.