Celebrate National Teetotalitarian Day!

As daughters and sons of the nation, we celebrate National Teetotalitarian Day today, a 24-hr experiment in authoritarian sobriety. Today, as Indians, we are free to speak (and wear) whatever we want. But sipping on a double Scotch will be treated as an offence against today's cultural values - and by today's, we mean of this single day. Oh, cheer up, it's less joyless than it sounds. Alcohol is an unusual product whose consumption steadily diminishes the consumer's ability to judge whether further consumption is prudent. By the fourth drink, rational-choice theory has left the building, usually without paying its share of the bill.

Teetotalitarianism restores fiscal discipline at household level. Money otherwise spent on overpriced wine remains available for economically sounder purposes, such as overpriced coffee. There are other savings. No drunken WhatsApp message to boss or colleague requiring a morning clarification. No mysterious credit-card entry that must be investigated. The value of celebrating a secular dry day is its unusually rapid policy transmission. Most governments demand restraint now to reap promised benefits several years away. Teetotalitarianism asks for restraint tonight. By breakfast tomorrow, you shall raise your glass to your very good judgement. So, let's raise a glass to National Teetotalitarian Day. And to tomorrow - it's National No-Hangover Day!