Called up for duty from extinction

It is with great reluctance that we share the news of the resurrection of the pygmy long-fingered possum and the ring-tailed glider - two marsupial species considered 'Lazarus taxon', or any species or group that was thought to be extinct, but later rediscovered alive - who, for 6,000 yrs, enjoyed the dignity of being considered extinct. Their recent discovery in a remote rainforest in West Papua is being hailed as a triumph of science. We hope it's a clerical error. Because extinction is the ultimate retirement plan. No more predators, no more habitat loss, no more awkward photographers from Nat Geo. To be thought of as extinct is to be free of human curiosity, that relentless paparazzi of the natural world.

But, now, these creatures must endure the indignity of conservationists poking them, journalists photographing them - and editorials written on them. The possum, with its absurdly elongated finger, will be mocked as nature's failed attempt at a backscratcher. The glider, once soaring majestically, will be reduced to a mascot for rainforest preservation campaigns. Better they had remained myth, whispered about in hushed tones, than to suffer the indignity of human rediscovery. 'Extinction' was their golden age. Discovery is their downfall. Sometimes, the kindest thing we can do for a species is to leave it blissfully forgotten.