California dreamin' of leaving Don's USA?

If you listen closely, you can almost hear the faint hum of California's state assembly rehearsing 'O Ca...nada.' After all, when facing existential crises like drought, wildfires and now a showdown with the zamindar of Mar-a-Lago over ICEmen, what's a state to do? The answer is obvious: join Canada, and thrive under the warm embrace of polite governance, universal healthcare and an infinite maple syrup supply.

At first glance, this nation-state-morphing might seem drastic. But picking up and flipping an old hippie-Trump idea of 'sovereignty is fluid', consider California's predicament. The state prides itself on progressive policies, clean energy and tech billionaires who occasionally launch themselves into space for fun. Meanwhile, Don from Downtown comes and Trump Towers up things. Clashes and street battles mean taking a cue from 1996 cult Kurt Russell classic, Escape from LA, and rebooting it as Escape from USA. Canada, that wise northern neighbour, has been waiting in the wings like a well-mannered suitor ever since Don's lascivious eye fell on it in a bid to make that country the 51st US state. With a government largely allergic to dramatic X outbursts, California would finally find the stability it craves since Grateful Dead last played at Haight-Ashbury. So, California, whaddya say? Tune in, turn on, drop out of Trumpland?