But it's bad news for MAGA gaonwale

In a shocking betrayal of MAGA math, Donald Trump has announced - what the White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt clarified later - a one-time $100,000 fee for H-1B visa applicants. Not annually, not monthly, not even per syllable of their names. To make matters worse, the levy apparently applies to only new H-1B visa-holders. Understandably, the MAGA faithful are livid. How is this, indeed, supposed to protect American jobs if tech companies can still afford to import Krishnas and Priyas like it's Black Friday at Best Buy?

MAGA fora are ablaze with furious calculations. 'If Raj from Delhi pays $100K once and then codes for 10 years, that's only $10K a year! That's less than what we spend on flags and ammo!' one user posted, before rage-quitting Excel. Some propose a tiered system: $100K for entry-level coders; $250K for full-stack developers; and $1 mn for anyone who can pronounce 'Kubernetes' (it's 'kyoo-buh-neh-tiz') without crying. Others demand a surcharge for every time an Indian engineer says, 'Just reboot it.' Even while tech CEOs are reportedly thrilled, the MAGA crowd is aghast with their vishwaguru. Trump's disappointing one-time club fee has united all MAGA gaonwale in a rare moment of bipartisan panic: the terrifying realisation that Indians may be still debugging America. Maybe FBI director Kash Patel can help.