Breaking news: Gwyneth's off paleo!

Oh, never mind the polycrisis, Don Trump, trouble in the Donbas, and Pakistanis in denial. Bigger news than all these paltry updates is Paltrow. Or, Gwyneth Paltrow kicking her paleo diet and returning to the land of carbs, cheese and pasta. Trust us, this is huge. When a celebrity takes to a fad diet, it is breaking news. But when the same celebrity gets off the wagon, it's shattering global news. The palaeolithic diet - as many of us in the Holocene are aware of - mirrors the food thought to have been consumed by humans in the good old Stone Age. Fruit, nuts, fish, meat, veggies, roots, essentially non-processed stuff that the caveman and cavewoman could get to eat before the age of Swiggy or Zomato, or your thin-lipped nutritionist (or, what people really in the know call 'dietetic educator').

It turns out that after a few years of adopting a 'paleo lifestyle' - more sophisticated than what the Flintstones would have us believe - the actor most famous for her portrayal as Pepper Potts, Tony Stark/Iron Man's love interest, got 'a little bit sick of it'. Dairy products and sour bread are back in her life. WHO is delighted, as is Trump's burger belt supporters - a tough thing to delight both. This development could well signal that recession in America may just have been avoided. Hang on, or does it signal that it's been accelerated?