Beware the domestic bear market of B-Day

Beware the wrath of kids and spouses scorned - on B-Day. If finmin thinks it can nudge stock exchanges to sneak in a special Sunday trading session on February 1 when GoI announces its household budget, it clearly has made a fetish of dismissing 'work-life' balance as something that indolent First Worlders (read: Europeans) do, not industrious Indians. But tell that to the children and wives of stockbrokers, militant shareholders in their family's weekend leisure index.

Already, reports suggest living rooms have turned into war rooms. Kids are drafting ultimatums, 'No pappi if Papa touches his phone for anything other than restaurant bookings for brunch on Sundays.' Wives, meanwhile, are threatening hostile takeovers of household assets - TV remote, car key, sacred recliner. 'If you trade on a Sunday, I'll short your dinner supply,' is a refrain. Brokers, poor chaps, are now trying to figure out how to hedge their portfolios while simultaneously hedging against domestic wrath. Futures contracts on marital peace can soon be trading at junk status. The only bullish sentiment is in the kids' demand for ice cream outings - in this weather. As stockbrokers suddenly face their most volatile market - family - they have their eyes fixed on Household Happiness Composite, which may now plummet when Papa mutters 'opening bell' four Sundays from now.