As slow as an India-US trade deal

There are forces who have probably been assigned the task of ensuring that Marco Rubio doesn't overhear this during the next few days he's here in India. But India is a big and loud place, and this corner column only mirrors it. So, consider our duty to put on record a new idiomatic phrase in English that has gained traction over the last few months: 'As slow as an India-US trade deal'.

Those familiar with formulations such as 'watching paint dry' and 'waiting for Godot' may already know what we're talking about. Except, this latest idiom describes an activity that is simultaneously happening, not happening, and about to happen.

Its most remarkable feature is its elasticity. A delayed flight is merely late. A delayed marriage may be called off. But something proceeding 'as slow as an India-US trade deal' enjoys permanent forward momentum without the inconvenience of arriving.


Whenever an official announces that negotiations are 'almost complete', seasoned observers understand that it's nudge-nudge, wink-wink for another postponement. 'We are very close' means further away than previously feared. 'Final stages' suggests the beginning of another round. 'Constructive discussions' indicates that nobody has thrown a chair. Trade negotiators on both sides of the Indo-Pacific water table have finally produced something of lasting value: a phrase.